
I’ve been lost in a haze of caring for a sick dog since Sunday —
hence the silence. Sleep deprivation, worry, and anger don’t lend
themselves to a lot of time and energy to blog, although I did manage to
get off a rant or two about the craptastic experience we had at our
local vet ER/specialty practice on Facebook. I’m talking with them about
it, and hope to come to a good resolution, but either way, I’ll be
blogging about it later.
The sickala (this is a term of endearment my mom and I used to use
for our sick pets, and silly as it is, it’s stuck with me) is, for the
second time since I adopted her last fall, Val, my 9-year-old Greyhound.
Last time she had lepto, with severe liver symptoms. This time it seems
to be her urinary tract, either an infection or stones or kidney
disease of some kind.
As Gina’s written, there are so many times when being “hooked up”
with the veterinary world is worth more than the salaries we get for the
work we do. I’ve had the advantage of some of the best, most caring
advice from some of the top vets in the country. That, coupled with the
care of my regular vet, who I like more every time I talk to him, and my
own absolute determination to protect and care for Val in every way
possible, more than outweigh the bad start we got at the ER.
All that said, right now I’m sitting in my local Starbucks, taking a
little break from Val’s intense neediness. When you live alone, and
especially when you’re in a new place where you have few friends, none
really close by, and no family, caregiving can become overwhelming.
And now the part I’m leading up to: Caring for Val is triggering my
memories of caring for my mother when she was dying. (Those who think
comparing my mother to a dog is insulting can leave now; I assure you,
my mother would have welcomed it.)
Like my mom, Val has to get up to pee every couple of hours, all
night long. I’ve actually got my bed covered with my mom’s quilted,
washable incontinence blankets. And while the sleep deprivation is only a
few days old, the memories of the months of it I went through while my
mom was dying are crowding into my mind all the time.
I needed a break. I’m not good at taking breaks, not from work or
caregiving. But if my experience of losing my mother, and the hell of
workaholism I got trapped in afterward, have taught me anything, it’s
that if I don’t put myself first, I won’t be any good to anyone else.
Hence, Starbucks, where someone else made my coffee, and everything
is clean and cool and impersonal, which will hopefully give me the
serenity I need to go back home and take care of my girl.
We’re heading for Michigan State University for a comprehensive
work-up to get to the bottom of her condition on July 10. I think we can
manage until then, as long as she keeps improving or at least, doesn’t
get worse, and I remember to care for myself half as well as I care for
my dogs.
Wish us luck!
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