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03 September 2012


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Liz Palika

Oh, Christie, hugs!

Paul and I were married for 37 years; more years together than we were apart. In fact we joked about that often.

The past year and a half since his death has been quite a journey. Although in the Marine Corps he would be deployed over seas, we could still communicate and we were still a 'we.' Now that I am a 'me' rather than a part of a 'we' it has caused me to do some reflection - just as you have.

Who am I by myself? How much of who I am is because of his likes and dislikes?

It has definitely been a journey. Although I like who I am today, I have also found I am not so different today than I was with Paul. Which is wonderful.

I think of Paul often - as you do your Mom - and we should think of those who meant the most to us. But I've found that I am enjoying the memories now rather than crying at them. In fact, this weekend I watched a DVD of Paul's favorite movie. One that I could not have watched last year without dissolving into puddle. But now I was able to enjoy it, talk to friends about why Paul liked it so much, and to smile at the memories.



Wow, this is just so touching and timely. I simply love your writing, we've never met but I can relate so closely to what you say in your posts. And as I go through the most difficult couple years of my life it is so helpful and meaningful to me right now. I too, every day, think about running away from the bay area to simply escape and find a better place for us and the dogs.

I traveled to be with my mother now, after just being laid off, to help her with my dads final weeks or days (we don't know). I can't really imagine what it will be like without her when that time comes. Or my dad, as that time is coming. I literally do not know what to think, or what to do. Not having my dogs here doesn't help! But your writing helps, and I thank you for that.
- Jen.


What a sweet post. I still have both my parents, but they are in their late 80s so I know the day is coming. I have my mom's grandmother's china, which I cherish. Thanks for sharing your heart.

Karin Shainman

Reading your touching memories of your relationship with your mom just confirms to me of how much more alike we all are, than different. Much happiness to you and those you love.

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