Why all your special modern pet-hair targeting vacuum cleaners suck

Look, a vacuum cleaner just shouldn't be this complicated.

A few months ago, I purchased a Panasonic JetSpin Cyclone based on a review I read on the old Pet Connection. I knew the Dyson Animal was supposed to be the pinnacle machine for pet owners, but $500 for a vacuum cleaner? Just no. But the Cyclone had good reviews on Amazon as well as the one on Pet Connection and was a fraction of the price, so I bought it.

The reviews may be accurate, but I have to assume the people who wrote them grew up in a different era than I did. Every vacuum I've ever used has worked just fine in picking up dog hair, cat hair, and whatever else was on my rugs. I haven't experienced all these clogs and suction-failures the TV ads wax dire over, and all I ever had to do was change the bag every few uses and, once or twice in the lifetime of the vacuum (which would run into decades) change a belt.

My new vacuum was so freaking complicated that I had to get out the instruction manual just to emtpy it. It has multiple filters and I can't even figure out how to get half the attachments off the machine or onto the wand. Hell, I don't even understand how the wand works at all. I hate it so much I'm giving it away, and I went to Amazon and ordered an old-fashioned bagged upright Hoover with hundreds of rave reviews that cost even less than the Cyclone (around $125).

Keep your stupid high tech vacuums and their bagless, filtered, super-magical special pet hair sucking technology. I'm going back to the kind of vacuums that had a one-page instruction manual. And if you want the Cyclone, it's yours.

Comments

[Cheryl]

I have had some crappy machines. Got tired of changing belts twice a year and the constant cleaning of hair clogs between the belt and the metal part of the motor it attached to. Also - the hepa filters cost more to replace than the original vacuum.

Bought a refurb Dyson Animal about 10 yrs ago to replace a Kenmore which I thought did a decent job until I ran the Dyson right behind it and picked a load the Kenmore missed. The Dyson was easy to figure out and has pictures on it as well. No bags and no expensive hepa filters. Only con is that it will try to suck up thin rugs.

Maybe you should see if you can find a Kirby but the sound of a jet airplane landing in the living room and the house vibrating might freak out the dogs. ;-)

[YesBiscuit!]

Maybe you could give it to your local no kill shelter. I bet vacuuming the cat room is a full time job!

[H. Houlahan]

Yeah, actually. The Dyson is ten years old and dying of overwork. Pay shipping?

I cannot go back to bags. Two greyhounds and a wiry deerhound can't begin to touch what four animate Gund toys and one German shedder put out. The bags were becoming a COST issue, for reals.

[Lindsey]

I bought a Riccar upright, the low end model, on the advice of an acquaintance who owned a vacuum store and had a huge pack of dogs thanks to her rescue work. I have been tickled pink with it. It's simple, it works really well, there's zero dust, the beater bar never gets stuck from hair wrapped around it, I've never replaced the belt and it still looks brand new. The bags have a built in hepa filter, no other filters necessary. The bags are a tad pricey, but hold a LOT of dirt. The salesman gave me two boxes when I bought the vacuum and 2.5 years later I'm just now ready to buy more (I probably won't run out for another couple of months). I have had exactly one clog, when I sucked up something too big, but the hose comes apart in exactly the right places to make clog removal easy. Annual tune ups are free at any dealer, but I haven't bothered to take it in yet. All the moving parts are metal, it's made in the US and thanks to it's design, it is impossible to damage the fan or for dust to escape. It should last 20+ years. I sound like a salesman ... but I just cannot overstate how glad I am to have an appliance that does it's job with no hassle and doesn't need to be replaced every two years.
The same person who recommended Riccar to me also said that a used Riccar or Electrolux is a bargain and will be just as good or better than anything produced today.

[Lindsey]

Also, I HATE bagless vacuums, it doesn't matter how expensive they are, they are dirty. When I remove the bag from my vacuum, it doesn't matter how full it is, nothing escapes, I don't even feel like I have to wash my hands after. I also despise filters that have to be washed/changed. I hate cleaning, I want it to be fast and simple, having to clean and maintain the vacuum cleaner is not my idea of a good time.

[Christie Keith]

Lindsey, I agree, I hate bagless vacuums for just that reason. I agree with everything you said!

I had a Riccar for years, loved it. I am not actually sure what happened to it. Like a lot of things in a cross-country move, it kind of vanished.

[Gina Spadafori]

Dyson. Worth every penny.

[E.M. Wade]

We love the Rainbow vacuum for picking up dog hair. It's bagless, but it just uses a simple basin of water to trap the dirt—you just dump the water out after vacuuming and rinse the basin. They really filter the air, which is great if you have allergies. They are quite pricey new, but older models can be picked up on ebay or craigslist for $200 or less. The last one we purchased, at a garage sale, was probably 20 years old and it lasted 4 years of heavy use—which is a lot more than you can say of most new vacs today!