So, I stand before you a free woman.
No, I was not recently released from prison.
I'm
simply trying to put the best frame I can on the reality, which is that
the collapse of our economy took my mother's estate with it
and got my house.
I didn't actually think this could happen,
because the house was underwater on the mortgage. And if I'd had the
money to fight them, it probably wouldn't have happened, but the
estimate to fight was between $40 and $75 thousand dollars in lawyer's
bills, which I don't have, and even if I did, piling it on top of the
existing "underwater" debt on the house would have been, well... even
more financially nuts than trying to hold onto it in the first place.
I'm
pretty heart-sick. I've had to spend a small fortune in legal fees,
it's been agonizingly stressful at a time when I was already stressed
out over a lot of work issues (fortunately TOO MUCH work, not too
little!), and I feel like I'm losing a part of my life and the place
where I lived with my mother and cared for her while she was dying. This
is where I lost Rebel, too, and my beautiful deerhound Rosie, who died
shortly after my mom and I moved into this house.
I can't say too
much about the case, as in my experience, blabbing about your legal
woes on teh interwebz tends to bite you in the ass, but believe me, I
had lawyers and they were aggressive and thorough.
Despite my
misery, I realize I'm also lucky. Lucky this didn't happen while my mom
was still alive, as she'd have never been able to stand it. Lucky that I
was making enough money to care for my mom when the economy went to
hell -- even two years earlier that wouldn't have been the case. And
lucky that my sister in law's twin sister just happened to have a small
house for rent -- she'd wanted to sell, but decided to wait for a better
market, and had decided to rent the house out just days before this all
happened.
The house is darling, it has a yard, it has an ocean
view, it's in my same general neighborhood, and while it's no longer
walking distance to the park -- boo -- it's only two blocks to my
brother, sister in law, and nephew's house -- yay! It's a safe place for
me to get over this and decide what's next in my life. The rent is a
little more than I'd have liked to spend, but I can afford it. And it
has no stairs, which considering I'm about to have knee surgery is a
definite plus.
Anyway, that's my sad story, certainly not the
first I've posted, but hopefully the last. This last year and a half has
been the most hellish since the early days of the AIDS epidemic, and my
mom's final illness was worse even than that. I'm torn to shreds and
don't think I could handle one more disaster, and am just hoping I can
keep it together enough to get myself and the dogs through the move.
I
don't normally like to post these big long personal things, and I
certainly know MANY of you are dealing with worse situations than this. I
just haven't been as active lately as I normally am, and every day I
feel such powerful nostalgia for those elusive things called "free
time," "sense of fun" and "creativity," and I
wanted to let you know what was up.
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