Once upon a time, I had no idea why people owned un-fluffy pets. I thought my friends who kept fish tanks or turtles or rats were out of their minds. And why anyone would want, say, a pet python was completely beyond me.
After all, weren't some of those pets kind of dangerous? And even the ones that posed no threat to humans, like angel fish -- it's not like they liked you, or really, even knew you were alive. What was the point?
But just like the folks who "know" things about pit bulls or feral cats, most of what I "knew" about unusual and exotic pets was wrong.
People are drawn to all kinds of pets less common than dogs and cats, for all kinds of reasons. Some of them may be bad reasons, but that's no different from the fact that some people are drawn to Persian cats because they think they're a status symbol, and others to Rottweilers because they think they're macho.
Just like those of us who keep dogs and cats, people who keep pocket pets, tropical fish, birds, snakes and other exotic and unusual animals do so because they're intrigued with them, care about them, and get something valuable out of the relationship.
The first stage of my enlightenment on this issue came when I lived with a woman who had a dozen or so rescued parrots. (She was a professional animal trainer and worked at a humane society, and we had a huge barn and outdoor aviary set-up for them -- she was no kind of bird hoarder.) Before living with her, I'd have said that any birds as prone to biting as her rescued parrots shouldn't be kept as pets, but she loved them madly, and they loved her.
I began to understand then that the human-animal bond can blossom between people and the most unlikely, and even apparently unloveable, of animals.
But my conversion was complete when I came to work for PetHobbyist.com, the parent website for kingsnake.com, the oldest and largest reptile and amphibian website in the world. That's where I finally broke my last personal taboo: snakes and lizards, frogs and turtles. You know -- creepy crawlies.
As I got to know people who kept herps, especially snakes, I realized that what moves them about their pets is not affection or companionship, but wonder. These people were the grown-up versions of the kid lying on her belly in the grass watching a garter snake slither by, or a little boy crouching for long minutes by a creek, waiting to catch a frog in his hands.
And once I got exposed to that wonder, I started to see it all around me. I picked up my nephew from day care, and saw they had a bearded dragon in the classroom. Friends read an article I wrote about snakes as pets for SFGate.com, and told me they'd grown up with corn snakes or little native boas, or even today kept lizards. I sat watching that same little nephew enthralled with a DVD called "Microcosmos," an amazing film about the hidden insect life in a French meadow.
And I read books like field biologist Kate Jackson's Mean and Lowly Things: Snakes, science and survival in the Congo, and realized just how many of those little kids who start out on their bellies in the grass end up running science programs at the Smithsonian, or teaching children about the wonders of the natural world in a grammar school science class.
That's fine, you say, petting your purring cat. People who have snakes have the right to have them, and yeah, my kid brother had a turtle, and we did have hamsters in our grade school science class. Nature's good. We get it. What's the problem?
The problem is a well-intentioned but absolutely clueless law in front of Congress right now. The bill, HR 669, the "Nonnative Wildlife Invasion Prevention Act," would create a "guilty until proven innocent" list of animals that can't be kept as pets in the United States without extensive and expensive scientific proof that those animals are safe and pose no risk to the environment.
The law targets all non-native animals -- like most aquarium fish, nearly all species of pet bird, and even common pets like hamsters and guinea pigs. Dogs and cats are, in effect, grandfathered in, but if they weren't, it's worth noting they could never pass such a test. (Nor, for that matter, could human beings.)
Yes, of course there are dangerous animals being kept as pets; I'm not talking about pet tigers here. I'm talking about things like hamsters and cockatoos and corn snakes.
And I also agree that invasive non-native species -- plant or animal -- can be a risk to local eco-systems. But the same snake or tropical fish that's a danger in Florida is no risk at all in Colorado. My friend's cute little ferret is no more risk here in California, where he's already illegal, than he is in Michigan, where he's not. Your nephew's hamster or gerbil? Gina's parrot? The gecko your daughter finally persuaded you to buy her for her birthday?
We've had these pets in the United States for generations. "Snakes and snails and puppy dog tails" are an American tradition of childhood. And yet all of them (well, not the puppy dogs) are on that "show me you're innocent" list.
Yeah, there are some folks opposing HR 669 that I have some problems with. PIJAC, for one, the Pet Industry Joint Advisory Council, which is also a major apologist for and defender of the commercial puppy trade. But the issue should be judged on its merits, not in a knee-jerk rejection of the agenda of some of its opponents.
There are plenty of wonderful animals whose owners are very scared about this law and the impact it will have on their right to keep the pets they love. Aquarium fish, parrots, ferrets, hamsters, and an endless list of harmless and beloved snakes, lizards, birds, and other critters are on that "black list." There's virtually no chance most of them will be "proven safe," because such proof is very costly and time-consuming.
Certainly there are animals that don't belong in the pet trade because they're dangerous or unsuitable. But a lot of people feel that way about pet cats -- believe me, I see them commenting on my SFGate.com column all the time -- and certainly about pit bulls and many other dog breeds. I'm not saying a line can't be drawn somewhere, but this law draws it so far in the wrong direction it's hard to believe anyone can be serious about it.
Take a bunch of animals kept by millions of American kids and say, "Prove they're safe"? On a national level? If there's a problem and you have evidence to demonstrate it, tackle it with local regulation and legislation. Even if an animal is a genuine threat nation-wide, which I find hard to imagine happens too often, the solutions to that problem would vary greatly from rural to urban, warm to cold, or northern to southern regions. Does one-size-fits-all, draconian national legislation make any kind of sense?
This law is bad for animals, it's bad for the people who love them, and it's just plain bad law.
So please, however you feel about slithery critters or the people who keep them, contact your Congress people and tell them you oppose HR 669. Particularly contact those on the Subcommittee on Insular Affairs, Oceans and Wildlife of the House Natural Resources Committee, which will be holding a hearing on it on April 23. I'm by no means endorsing PIJAC as an organization, but they have a good overview of the provisions of the bill and contact information for the committee members here (PDF). (Update: Another easy summary and contact site, including a "one click" way to email members of Congress, here.)
Even if your dogs and cats aren't threatened directly by this law, contact them on behalf of tomorrow's field biologists and science teachers, or just the guy down the street with a tankful of tropical fish.
Tell Congress to leave our pets alone.
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