There's a certain cachet to not watching the Super Bowl, right? It just makes you look incredibly cool, that your life is so full of hip and meaningful pastimes and commitments that a bunch of guys in padded suits ramming into each other for money is just too, too banal for you to care about.
I don't think that's why I don't like watching it, though. Because I feel the same sense of, "Oh, good, I won't have to wait to get seated at a restaurant tonight!" about the Academy Awards as I do about the Super Bowl.
Most years, I've not even seen one of the nominated films. It happens that this year, I have. Like the hopeless geek I am, I saw "The Social Network" the weekend it opened. Of course I did. But that's it. I haven't even heard of most of the others, and the only one I want to see, "The King's Speech," has been playing at a theater within walking distance of my house since December, and I still haven't seen it yet.
But I'm not sure I'd want to watch the Academy Awards even if I'd seen all the films, and even if I cared who won. I didn't watch the Golden Globes, either, and I'm a big fan of "Glee," right?
I just don't seem to like to watch big television events. I like to follow them on Twitter, but not watch them myself. I don't know if this is a sign that I've become hopelessly meta and completely out of touch with real life, or that at least you can Tweet from the dog park instead of being chained to a TV set.
And yes, I do believe this post marks the return of my long-abandoned "Sunday bloviation" series!
Photo: Me holding an Academy Award, just to show that there was a time when I wasn't remotely as disinterested in the Oscars as I am now. That's Rob Epstein with me, and the award was for the 1989 best documentary, for his film "Common Threads," about the AIDS quilt.