I don't know what it is about me, I think perhaps I'm just a vicious nasty person masquerading as a kind, compassionate, dog owning, latte-sipping, bleeding heart liberal. I like the meanest people.
Krissy: So, what's in the news?
Me: The head of the largest evangelical Christian organization in the United States is accused of having a three-year-long adulterous affair with a man whore.
Krissy: I'm sorry. I probably shouldn't be laughing.
Yes, well. Gobsmackingly ironic karmic retribution will do that to a person, won't it. If these accusations are true (and apparently at least some of them are), then hello, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the absolute collapse of evangelical moral credibility. I mean, if you wanted the current set of evangelical marching orders to be cut off right at the knees, you couldn't do much better than to have the married leader of 30 million evangelicals paying to have his pole smoked by another guy. On a monthly basis. For three years. I mean, Christ. Talk about intelligent design.
So, then I open up my favorite columnist in the San Francisco Chronicle and get down on my knees and make obeisance to the benevolent deities that allowed me to be born in a city that PUBLISHES THIS MAN IN ITS MORNING PAPER, talk about "San Francisco values":
That shirt you're wearing right now? Chances are, Dick Cheney hates it. That car you drive? Thinks it's for whiny un-American pansies. The fact that you've probably eaten tofu and wear designer shoes and have actually had sex while standing up? Pervert heathen traitor to the real America, Dick thinks. He hates that.
See what else Dick Cheney hates, and why, here. And for the record, I know Dick Cheney would hate my shirt, because it says "My snake is bigger than your snake." My car is a Honda mini-van. I wear designer shoes. I've had sex standing up. I'm a pervert and a heathen.
I do hate tofu, though.