Me and Analyst Steve

If you've ever read this blog before, you know I moved at the end of last month. We'll just leave it at that and the fact that it was the worst move ever in the history of moving and I still wake up screaming in the night from time to time.

So, this morning I was downloading my email and it just stopped. I tried again and this time got the message my password was invalid. So I tried via the web interface and got a message that my account was on "inactive status."

I was online. And I had cable TV, also via Comcast.

There was a link in my error message on how to get help, so I clicked on it.  I explained the situation to "Analyst Steve." Anything I've struck through, I didn't say, only thought. I swear to you, I started out nice. I really did.

Analyst Steve: Have you moved lately?

Me: Yes, three weeks ago as I already explained you moron.

Analyst Steve: It looks like your old address hasn't been moved to your new address. Do you have your new account number?

(Little bit of clarification about addresses etc., and we establish, no, I don't know my new account number since every other business on planet earth tracks you through your phone number or something you might actually know.)

Me: I don't think this has anything to do with my move...

Analyst Steve: It does. It just took a while for the account to be closed.

Me: Why did you close it?

Analyst Steve: I didn't, it just gets shut down if a request isn't put in to move it to a new account

(I clarify at this point that I am not blaming Analyst Steve personally for going in and making the tough decision to close down my account, but speaking to him rather in his capacity as a representative of Comcast, Inc. as should be obvious to anyone in the customer service field.)

Me: I did what I was told when I called to move my service, and no one told me I had to request to "move" my email address.... I didn't get a new account, or if I did, no one expressed it to me that way.  How do I get my email address up and running? And how do you explain the fact that I have Internet service here at the new house and you sent a guy out to set it up and everything, if I didn't request to move my service?

Analyst Steve:  Do you have your new account number?

Me: I believe we already established that I do not you moron. No. My bill goes to my employer.

Analyst Steve: I am sorry, I will need the new account number to move the old email account. Please chat back in, or call 1-888-COMCAST, when you have the new account number.

Me: how do I get it? I'm on the phone with my employer, he hasn't gotten a bill yet.

Analyst Steve: It would be on the new install order, written on it

Me: Yeah, I just moved, what part of "my life is in boxes and filled with chaos and I can't find some piece of paper a guy gave me three weeks ago" do you not understand? and if I don't have that? how do I get it?

Analyst Steve:  Wait until you get a bill

Me: I can't, I need my email, nor can I believe you really said that, how does this company stay in business?

Analyst Steve: Get your employer to call 1-888-COMCAST, maybe he can get them to give it to him

Analyst Steve:  Is there anything else I can help you with today?

Me: You haven't helped me with anything at all, so there's no honest way to reply to that question with a yes or no, is there? No.

Analyst Steve: Thank you for contacting Comcast!

Fortunately the nice people at 1-888-COMCAST didn't need my "new account number" but were able to access my account with my phone number, apologized profusely for the mistake which was entirely on their end, fixed  everything, and restored my faith in corporate America.

Have a nice day.

Comments

[Sharyn]

If it makes you feel any better, I had much the same type of problem with both Adelphia and BellSouth when we moved the end of August -- with both personal *and* business accounts! I finally told the Adelphia customer service person (and I use the term loosely) that I was glad my company's customer service was better than theirs or I'd not still be in business.

[Gina]

Come over to Dogma and read all the complaints people post in response to my complaints about the installers for Direct-TV. It'll make you feel better, or at least in good company.

And what's up with a "first class business hotel" that doesn't have free Wi-Fi? I'm at the downtown Marriot in Kansas City and it took me an hour to get online ... at $10 a night. Damn red state. This far from the land of screaming fast broadband, I guess I should be happy they have phones.